Today I had to visit another doctor. I know what you’re about to say, “not another rant about medical expenses”. I’ll spare you. But I did pay a lot. Anyway, it seems that I am extremely well endowed. Only it’s not in the department I had hoped. No, it seems I have rather large adenoids, which are behind the tonsils. Which is the reason why I am always snoring (so people say… I never hear it) and the reason why I have had a blocked nose for the past oh I don’t know FOUR MONTHS!
So I’ll be heading off to hospital next week for a day or so while I get them whipped out. It’s not the best turn of events, but I always wanted to stay in a hospital overnight. I always get to see other people in hospital and eat their food, well now I get to do it. Trouble is, I won’t be able to eat anything after the take them out because it will hurt too much. It really sucks. But I get to sleep in a hospital.
In other news, did you notice the new layout? Let me guess, you are wondering what the David Code is? No, you’re not wondering. Didn’t think so. Fine, I’ll keep my secret genius cult to myself. We were going to have a special party, but now I think I’ll just have it by myself.
Today I decided, just for fun, that I would try and write some rap. I mean, I listen to enough of it so why not write some. It’s harder than I thought. Good rap I mean. Getting all those elements like flow and rhyme together is one thing, saying something interesting while you’re doing it is another.
So I started out with some stupid rhyme about a club, because hey, that’s what half of these songs are about, clubs, bitches, and guns. So I put them together like so:
Soon as I’m steppin in the club,
you can hear them hoochies sayin,
it’s a baller in the club,
look at the way that he be swayin
is his dick really that big
or is it the gun that he be slingin
but they’re wrong on both counts
it’s that cris that i been drinkin
..but it’s so stupid. There’s absolutely no originality to it, nor does it say anything mildly interesting. But I persevered. I changed my subject material. I went with something I actually know.
Choose a path,
Come boy you gotta do the math,
Gotta work hard to get those grades in every class,
And after you finish you’re gonna know a lot of shit,
And your life is gon be perfect everything’ll be a hit,
When the curtains came up, I was livin in a trailer,
Trying to do my best in school tryin not to be a failure,
Kinda worked out well, finished school and went to college,
And had no idea what to do with all the knowlege.
Cos you can read them books all day,
But if you got some bills to pay,
Them books ain’t gon help no way,
And then you’re smart broke ass will say…
Well it was better than before, but it still didn’t sound like a real rap. Not like, “his palms are sweaty/knees weak, arms are heavy/there’s vomit on his sweater already/mom’s spaghetti” You can’t just put words together which rhyme and tell a story. You gotta have beat and rhythm in your words. Interesting about those Lose Yourself lyrics I just mentioned is that they rhyme twice, at the end and in the middle. “palms/sweaty”, “arms/heavy”, “mom’s/spaghetti”. I know what you’re saying, what if Dad made your spaghetti, what do you do then? Well it just wasn’t meant to be. Move on.
I came up with one more… it’s a little more song like, but on a different subject. More of a chorus. It goes.
We got mamas on the streets liftin legs and slidin sheets~
Yo it’s a cold world
It’s a cold world
We got kids up in the schools pullin guns cos they ain’t cool~
It’s a cold world
Yeah it’s a cold world
Politicians on TV startin wars and tellin me~
It’s a cold world
It’s a cold world
Have we got answers no we don’t, are blamin’ oh for sho~
It’s a cold world
Man, it’s a cold world
So there is my first foray into the world of rap music. Will I be a mad rapper? Who knows.. The other night, my mum did make my spaghetti, but I didn’t get it on my sweater. So it’s a mixed outlook I guess. Oh well, another day another bitch in the club. Word to ma homies who made it this far through my crazy ass dope blog.
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