Science has a simple answer too, but one which is barricaded by a lexicon of required knowledge. From ideas about atoms and mollecules to forces and the various laws of nature, the knowledge which a scientist may take for granted is the same knowledge that daunts the layperson from pursuing a scientific answer.

The journey to a more accurate truth about life is a long one.  If religion, with its simple comforts and basic comprehensibility, works just fine for the average believer, why would they turn to a more incomprehensible theory about atoms and mutations and fossil records?  Without a lot of further study, the layperson would have to accept many of the basics of science on faith alone.  What would be the benefit?  A lack of certainty about the ultimate meaning of it all?  Exclusion from the club to which the rest of his or her society belongs?  Is it really any wonder that most choose to go with the the social club and the guilt-cleansing service religion provides?

Many Atheists assume that there is some higher purpose to human consciousness other than its own indulgence.  Why the need to slave away at absolute truths when, from an evolutionary perspective, the genetic material passed on by both the religious fanatic and the Atheist are identical. Religions have reduced a complex universe down to simple terms which even a child may understand.  What benefit does one have from a more accurate truth, and does the potential benefit outweigh the cost of learning it?  When Science is able to reduce it’s theories down to simple allegories and fables which can be readily grasped by the young generation and those who use their brains more for looks than for mental function, then it will achieve a status as cherished as religion is for billions of people now. From there, it might inspire billions to seek more and more accurate truths once they realize that anyone can learn anything with discipline and patience.

Those scientists among us who see religion as a burden or blemish on humanity, should realize that they are the enlightened few who have traversed the heights of understanding and so it is they who must bridge the gap with those unable to do so themselves.  Far better to allow people to believe generalizations and simplifications about science than to allow the continuation of the God theory with the angels, devils and other superstitious ideas associated with it.

As an example: does a cat care about the truth of whether you have hostile intentions or not?  Oftentimes no.  It won’t waste time pondering the matter, it will simply run away when you approach.  The truth may be that you are friendly and can provide the cat with a good meal, but as a general rule, the cat has preserved the status quo of it’s species in running away from larger animals, avoiding any potential threat.

What Atheists are asking of the religious is to defy the very laws of evolution that the Atheist holds dear.  Thousands of years of history have shown both safety in numbers and that conservation of effort for the same reward is favored by evolution.  Any species which can achieve the same result (passing on of genetic material to offspring which in turn reaches sexual maturity) with the least amount of effort, will ultimately prosper.

Let me make it clearer:  Religion follows the same epistemological process as science on the most basic of levels.  A phenomena is observed (Life).  A reason is given (God).  If we imagine an island-dweller with no concept of the outside world or of scientific knowledge, the model of a God moving the celestial bodies about, providing rain and sunshine as needed, elegantly fits their basic understanding of the world.  It is a theory in the scientific sense.  With our modern knowledge, it is not difficult to poke holes in this theory or any other simple theory of existence, but usually the adoption of new theories are based on their utility, not their inherent truth.

There are theories and then there are things that work.  What scientists must do better is educate an ignorant populace about the wonders of scientific knowledge.  They must do this not in an arrogant way, but in a sympathetic way.  They must be the translators of knowledge into simple terms, which reveal the real-life practicality of these theories.

The basics of evolution: A bird has three children, all of whom are slightly different to one another. Two of those birds happen to be better at flying away from predators than the other one. The poor flier is eaten and doesn’t have children. The other two have two children. Now we have two separate family tree branches: light feathered and dark feathered offspring. The light-feathered offspring are easily seen by predators and they are eaten before they can reproduce, leaving only dark-feathered birds. This is the process of natural selection, whereby small variances in the children influence their survival and hence their ability to pass on their genetic code. Over millions of years, this results in major changes in life forms, as some variations are better than others at surviving in their environment.

For the religious, knowing the workings of natural processes via science should bring them closer to God, for these are the universal processes by which He operates.  The study of science IS the study of God’s laws!  In my religion, Etheism, knowing science is being closer to knowing the true nature of God.

A while ago, I decided to consider alternatives to Atheism.  I wound up creating my own religion.  I didn’t do it for the chicks, for the fame or for the chance to be crucified.  Nor did I do it because I have grown disillusioned by science.  Science does a great job of explaining the world, our history, the laws of Nature, and even what our near future might look like.  It is essential to our survival and it must continue unhindered, with the full support of humanity.  But what of the big questions that science still cannot answer?  Are we not allowed to wonder why we are here and what our struggle through life is for?  It is for this reason I developed Etheism.

Throughout history, philosophers and preachers have searched for a meaning, some clue as to what it’s all about.  To know this is to know God.  Well, are we getting closer to knowing God yet?

Etheism holds that God is energy.  Using this simple substitution, I dare you to read the ancient biblical texts and see if they don’t make more sense.  What was always most imbecillic about mainstream religion was its view that God was some kind of father figure sitting up in the clouds, listening to what humans do, meddling in their affairs.  Unless you are a young child or a complete and utter moron, this will obviously be insulting to your intelligence.  Defining God as energy allows us to clearly define Him by the natural laws we have for how energy functions in the Universe.  There is still much to learn if we are to become fully enlightened, but at least we are on the way.  As we come to expand our view of the Universe, so too will we expand our definition of God, from petty father figure, to omniscient deity, to Universal constant.

But why define God at all?  There has been, thus far, no evidence to support any theory of a higher consciousness having created any of the phenomena we see around us.  Existence is not evidence of creation.  Even if there had been creation, it must’ve occurred billions of years ago, as our most advanced techniques for dating the age of the earth and of the living creatures who have lived on it indicate.  The absurd idea that the world is but a few thousand years old and that woman was created from man with one of his ribs is childish nonsense which ignores so many facts about the world we have come know.

If you really are religious and are still reading, consider:  God gave you a brain, so why don’t you use it?  You have been given the amazing gift of volition, of choice, of understanding and knowledge.  You are conscious, self-aware and capable of understanding the mysteries of the universe.  You can know why the sun and moon appear to move across the sky, or how people came to look different from each other, some with dark hair and black eyes, others (like me) with fair hair and a fragile relationship with the sun.  God, if He exists, surely doesn’t want you to treat your brain poorly by ignoring the voluminous amounts of evidence supporting the theory of evolution on the one hand, with a book authored by God-knows who, compiled by a bloodthirsty dictator about a prophet none of the authors ever met.

Let me put it another way.  I’m sure that if I put a bag over my head, I could eventually learn how to get on with my life.  But for God’s sake, why not just take off the bag?

Yet, in spite of the horrors committed in its name, religion has been the greatest cause of human population growth in the history of humanity.  The prescription religion has dispensed throughout the Ages has been to “go forth and multiply” and the multitude has obeyed.  Where poverty and religion have combined, the effects have been especially pronounced, generating generation after generation, perpetuating paternalism, all the while passing religion on.  We have assumed that religion was indoctrinated into children early enough that they weren’t able to rationally comprehend it, thereby accepting it as a part of their lives.  But what if it wasn’t just nurture that helped religion to grow and flourish?  What if there was a genetic factor involved?  If there was a genetic link between genes and suceptability to religion, then the religious may well give birth to naturally religious children.  As those who are most religious would quite possibly pass on their genetic material with a greater urgency, the numbers of the religious would be increasing compared to the non-religious.

This may sound like the rantings of a maniac.  “Genetic link to religion?  Such a thing has never been proven!”  And it hasn’t.  But there is good evidence to suggest that there is something in human psychology that gives rise to belief.  You just have to look at it from another angle than religion.

Look at a group of people.  Tasked with a job to do, the group naturally falls into a team of leaders and followers, as each member finds its political place within the group.  We call this politics, but it is actually just an effective way to manage the group dynamic and achieve the result desired.  If a group has too many leaders, it’s focus is diluted and the group can splinter into factions.  Unless some members can switch to a follower mentality, allowing themselves to “follow the leader” as it were, the group will be unfocussed.  Unless other members can lead those other members, giving direction and balance to the group, the group will be doomed.  It seems that, like bees, a person can adopt either role in order to achieve the higher purpose of the group.  Throughout history, those who have been able to follow their leader precisely, by aligning their own goals, dreams and desires with the group have had an uncanny ability to win.  Independence of mind and spirit have traditionally worked well for the leaders of the world, but have fared poorly in group dynamics.  Hell, I have a hard enough time living with this kind of mindset in these supposedly independent and free times.  I would’ve probably been burned on the stake before my 15th birthday, had I been born a couple of thousand years prior.

I think it is not a coincidence that political fervour often mimics religious fervour.  Our tendency to follow has protected us in the past, allowed our groups to function more effectively (though quite often being murderously effective).  It gave humanity strength, yet it is at the same time its weakness.  In the evolution of human thought, it is natural that we would transition from a group to an individualistic mentality.  Trouble is, it seems we are going backwards.  Back in the 4th century BC, Aristotle and Socrates were chatting philosophy, trying to derive the nature of the universe.  Artistotle himself could be said to be the founding father of Science.  Yet, it took almost two thousand years for scientific thought to actually take hold.  Had we not been afflicted with the mind-stunting ignorance of religion for centuries, where might we be now.

I’m pretty sure we’d have flying cars.  Leonardo da Vinci would have invented them for sure.

I created Etheism in the hope of creating, not another closed dogmatic system of belief, but an evolving, inclusive vision of a universe which would one day welcome us into its arms.  As our technology and our knowledge increase, as we come to learn more and more secrets of this amazing universe, we may well give birth to creations which allow us to explore the cosmos (or at the very least fly to work).  Who knows what intelligence we may find, given the means of conducting a more thorough search.  But even if we remain alone in the universe, we will advance or die together.  Our own small roles in continuing the delicate spark of life will remain, even after the circumstances of our birth, death and all that happened in between fades into eternity.

Etheism is a celebration of Life.  A unifier, not a divider.  It is a religion which is pro-science, pro-life AND pro-choice, pro-rational individual and pro-understanding.  It is inclusive.  If you’re alive, you can join.  Those who we disagree with, we feel compassion toward, never hatred.  We feel connected to the universe and relish the joys of life.  We understand that God may fill our bodies and world around us, but this universe is a self-determined one.  We live and die by our own choices.  There is no supernatural force, guiding the outcome.  We are not disappointed by this, as we understand that the natural world is so full of wonderful and amazing things that there is simply no need for the supernatural.  As for the purpose of humankind, perhaps one day it will achieve harmony.  That is our goal.  When we learn to form a synnergy with our natural world, we might discover a higher form of existence, leading to still other higher and higher forms.

The answers to all of our questions are right there in the puzzle we call life.  It’s up to us to solve it.

Okay now that I have made every major religion my enemy I will continue and discuss what I feel is the true nature of God. To be honest it’s really hard not to use phrases like “God is infinite”, “God is everywhere” or other such clichd lines. This is what many religions currently say. I do imagine that if you sat down with a random holy book you might see lines to this effect. Why then, if God is infinite as they profess, do they limit the concept by giving him a finite identity. To see the truths in current religion, you ignore the fictionalized stories that happen in all of them and see their common thread. People have limited God in order to understand it which has anthropomorphized God into an all-knowing and controlling father figure. However our spirituality deserves more than just stories about an imaginary man in the sky.

We all long for a spiritual connection of some kind. While we can feel that spiritual connection through friendship, love, parenthood or art, we also feel a need to define our own place in the universe. We long for a spiritual connection which illuminates our role in existence. It’s not self-aggrandizement where you feel everything you do is vital to the function of the universe. Nor is it a feeling of resignation where you wait out your short life for an impending doom. Rather, your understanding of God helps you enjoy this moment you have and all that exists alongside you. My religion is about taking joy from your existence and being completely comfortable with your amazing (albeit, short) journey through this world.

God is the energy of the universe. We are all balls of energy interacting and acting of our own accord. We are on a planet which contains a million forms of life all doing their own thing trying to survive long enough to replicate and nurture their young into another life cycle. We are all driven by the life force. We do what we do to continue this life force. All the emotions, all the fears and desires are manifestations of this force, propelling us through our lives. You can look back on all of history, all those thousands and thousands of generations of people before you. Each one of them felt like you feel right now. Each one of them felt like they were the most advanced thing on the Earth. But where are they now? What did they do to help you? Will we really remember them?

Our ancestors, despite their feelings of grandeur, ultimately died. However they all died completing their mission which was to replicate, to breed new life to replace their own. We are all here for that one simple reason. And yes, we feel that we are the most advanced things to ever hit this planet as will our children feel and as will those earthlings thousands and thousands of years into the future. We are a flash in the pan. For a brief moment in time we will shine our lights brightly into existence and then we’ll be gone. All of those ancestors that went before us finally learned that one ultimate truth. Once you are able to accept your place in time, only then will you be able to fully savor every last moment of it. We remember our ancestors in the way that we remember the steps and rungs on a ladder we are climbing. They got us this far and we appreciate that. We are not really sure where we are climbing or why we want to climb so badly, however we have have the desire deep within our souls that we should just keep going up. Why we are doing this nobody can know, nor should they lose any sleep wondering about it. We will play our part in whatever purpose it is, allowing the universal plan to continue. If we exist according to our programming, we will get pleasure for fulfilling our part. No pleasure in life can replace the joys of courtship, love, sex, raising a family, working productively and seeing our children grow to do the same, for the undertaking of these acts is the true purpose of your life.

Enjoy this gift and savor each stage of your journey without guilt or regret. This is the central tenet of my religion, the name for which I will give Etheism, the belief of God as a universal force of energy.

Firstly I will state from the get-go that I am starting my own religion. I dont want you to misconstrue my newfound faith as to be in any way related to any major religion existing today. I suppose elements of all of them are true in some way, but I think they completely misconstrue the truth and build so much bullshit around it, that you cant really see it anymore. Maybe people wanted more out of their religion, more meaning out of their existence, so religions grew to fulfill this need. Maybe they lusted for more power. Either way, they have been distorted so as to make the truth impossible to see.

The honest truth is that the actions of your life dont particularly matter. From the perspective of the universal consciousness, your life matters an amount which is infinitesimally close to zero. You can be good and bad, the UC pretty much doesnt give a crap. To kill someone, for example, is against the universal plan, but matters so incredibly little as to be almost insignificant. In fact, it may even be a part of the plan. As human beings, it makes no sense to be terribly concerned with the details of the universal plan, as you have been programmed to enjoy your life and in so doing, play your role in the UP. However, being human you have a consciousness that demands to be aware of whats happening to it, so humans have longed for this spiritual meaning to life, to be aware of the plan that exists for us. We have in the past turned to religion to satisfy this need, but as these religions were so full of hogwash and illogicality they stood opposed to the truth we had learned with our own eyes. Religion, in its role of tour guide to Eternity, has failed miserably. Instead of helping us to observe our own place in the universe and of the meaning to our futile lives, they elevated their own status to be much higher than it should be, to control people to behave as they wished them to. Power made them greedy, those religions, as they longed for more and more control. Whatever truth started out in them, by the time religions had taken over peoples lives, there was little truth to be found at all. This is why I must start my own religion.

To be honest, criticizing todays religions is almost a waste of time. There is so little to believe about them that people need to study it in order to see how it might be true, go to church every week and recite prayers to enforce it. If you really need to reinforce truth, then maybe its not so true to begin with. Truth is a light which shines upon us. Yes, finding real truth requires a search, but once found it should make itself forever known, imprinted on your brain. Truths as elemental as 1+1=2 or the difference between hot and cold are, once learned, never forgotten. In the same way, the Universal Truth is something that, once learned, is not easily forgotten.

The plan is something I need to talk about. The plan is the goal that our lives contribute a part to. All of us are helping it along. I want you to imagine you are God for a moment. You look out over Creation and see all the different life-forms blossoming, burgeoning their existence into the universe. As it all grows, you feel that the winner will grow to benefit further your plan. Right now, the humans are showing promise, but will the dominant species be the virii, which eternally replicate and never destroy each other, as the humans are prone to do? You feel no special longing for either side to win, just to watch as it unfolds before you. You are happy to let the creatures develop, all along playing their Darwinian games of natural selection until they have the capacity to join the communication of the UC.

No doubt there are other civilizations out there also competing their way to universal significance. Some may just be starting out, others may be far more advanced than ours. Looked at from Gods perspective, we see them as eternally engaging in the battle of survival. There are many species which are not even nearly going to come close to winning. One of the branches of life forked out and made a bird called a dodo. That branch had hoped to be the ultimate species, fighting for domination of the planet, the solar system, the galaxy, but alas, it turned out to be a really stupid bird. As a result, its line ended. As humans, we are living out our lives and we think we are developing quite well, but this may not always be the case. Another life form may swallow us in pursuit of their own destiny and that will be our end. However, as we advance, we will be open to broader and broader forms of communication, using methods previously undreamt of. Eventually, we will discover other species. Of course, they may be a species of giant walking plants, who communicate through molecular emission and transmission. In which case, well think twice before making the movies about cross-species romance. Species are out there, its just a matter of finding them.

Imagine a caveman. He is living in a cave on the outskirts of the city. He has never ventured far out of his cave and the town locals have never risked getting close to him. The caveman is unaware of the world. There is, of course a wireless internet signal running through the air around his cave. The humans in the town send this wireless signal out. Theres also a cell phone network in the area. If the caveman had a computer or a mobile phone, hed be able to contact the humans and access all their knowledge. However until the caveman builds the computer and mobile technology, he will be unable to bridge that gap. You may ask, what about more traditional forms of communication, such as smoke signals, mirror flashes or plain old-fashioned shouting. From a universal perspective this amounts to asking, why dont the aliens send us information through more traditional means, in ways we could understand? The answer is the same for the townspeople and the caveman as it is for the aliens and us. That is, they cant communicate with us for the same reason we cant run computer networks on a system of smoke signals: the mechanism for communication is simply inadequate. What seems like an impossible task for our imaginary caveman, that task of hooking in to the wireless signal of the town, remains our very real task of finding out how to plug into the universal network of truth. Its almost an impossible feat, but its one we must never give up on. A major part of my religion is learning how to connect to truth and be open to receive it.

to be continued…

“Immigrants, not Australians must adapt. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians. However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the ‘politically correct’ crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others… As Australians, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle. This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom”

The supposed speech came to an end in a frenzied climax of patriotic cliches (caps added by original source):

“This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, ‘THE RIGHT TO LEAVE’.”

Had it happened? Had John Howard finally flown off the handle and revealed his inner Aussie battler? Then I thought, wait a minute, this is John Howard. The who never says anything remotely inflammatory. John Howard, appeaser of the middle class. I turned to Google to find out where this story really came from.

I found that indeed it wasn’t little Johnnie who penned the above rant, nor was it one of his speechwriters. In fact, it was hard to trace the author, there were so many. Stories usually went something like: an editorial in a “major tabloid” said this speech or “a concerned reader and average Joe” sent this letter-to-the-editor to a local newspaper. It also seemed that the country in question wasn’t originally Australia. It seems that the speech has been used in defence of patriotism in the UK as well however the consensus of internet opinion is that it was written by an American citizen as an editorial for a Tampa (Florida) newspaper. Name unknown.

In fact, this is simply a chain letter. A dig back through the news archives showed that this letter has been sent to various newspapers’ editorial sections and published again and again since 2001, the date it was originally written. Finally, I ended up at breakthechain.com which traced it back to “Barry Loudermilk, an Air Force veteran from Georgia and frequent op-ed columnist in the The Bartow Trader” which quite possibly could be the Bartow in Florida.

The fact that people keep quoting this and getting excited by it is probably because it’s more or less how people are feeling. It’s no secret that citizens are increasingly frustrated by the constant stream of politically correct bullshit that spews forth from our lawmakers and media outlets. Usually when something doesn’t sit right with the general population, an opposite reaction will occur pretty soon after. It doesn’t take Newton to tell you that the opposite of PC is usually a little on the racist, good-old-days, nationalistic side. That’s how society ends up reasonably balanced.

The funny thing about this email is that people are not attributing to John Howard the type of quotes we used to read Pauline Hanson actually giving. I suppose those who agreed all along felt a little better when it came from official mouths.

Yeah, right.

If I was God and I made something remarkably dim-witted, I wouldn’t hold grudges. Knowing and understanding all must be pretty calming, I figure.

Some part of me wishes that there was a definite answer to the questions of life. Then I wouldn’t have to deal with Bible Bashers on the street every day. Well, every other day that is. Today must’ve been a special day because they were out in force, in broken English, which is worse because they can throw verses at me but when I retort they can’t understand.

Like when I asked about the age of Earth and he said that 4000 years was just a parable, to which I replied that this meant anything you find inconvenient could just be called a parable. He answered me with a well timed and drawn out blank stare. I really should stop talking to these people.

In order to counter these armies of Scripture Streetwalkers, I have devised these Ten Commandments of Avoidance to protect you from these people as you walk the streets. By blindly following these rules and watching for the signs of the Deliverer you may avoid losing precious moments of your life or worse still, having your soul ‘saved’.

Commandment One: Beware the Neverending Smile. As you stroll along, you may think that the person up ahead is just happy. Think again. There are not that many happy people in the world these days, what with wars going on, high prices, taxes and global warming. If someone is smiling more than a second it is probably because they are high on hymns and are ready to tell you about them. You look into their eyes, they are wide, they appear to be glad to see you. You know that this is just too good to be true. Run, lest they impart the meaning of their joy.

Commandment Two: Clipboards: Thine Security Sense is False. So you see a person with a clipboard. Ah no problem there. Probably just some poor schmuck with a survey. WRONG! Suddenly you find yourself staring at a set of questions all about people called Mary, Moses and Matthew, but by then it’s too late, you have a pen in your hand. You hurriedly scribble the answers down and try to run away but they have you, they’re talking, it’s too late. Noooo! Beware the clipboard, for often these implements carry rounds of biblical ammunition, from surveys to fliers to booklets filled with stories about mystery heroes with long hair. See the clipboard and run, my friend.

Commandment the Third: As Moses Parted the Seas (parabolically of course), So Doth The God-Talker. You may notice, if you pay close attention to the people around you, that something strange is happening. People in the street in front of you are parting for no good reason. What could it be? What else but a church junkie, looking for friends so that they can all inject good intentions of hope into each others souls. For nothing will part a crowd like a Smiling Samaritan with the Good Word on his tongue.

Commandment Four: Do As The Jew Doth. While you may not be a Jew, it certainly is convenient to pretend to be one to ward off the surprise attack. The average basher isn’t equipped with the arguments to topple a faith older than theirs, especially one whose followers betrayed their number one guy. Most likely they’ll give up. Feel free to do your best Jewish impression to suit. Trust me, Jews appreciate good Jewish impressions.

Commandment Five: Do As The (insert religion here) Follower Doth. If Jewish impressions aren’t your thing, then you are not lost. There are plenty of religions that are just as repugnant to Christians. Try Islam for example. One mention of the Crusades or US Christians invading the Holy Land and you’ll think you had Saladin’s sword in your hands. It’s all in the approach. Greet them with “salaam alaikum” and it will it will be over before you can say hijab!

Commandment the Sixth: Unleash Thy Fury. One of the great things that many people forget is that Christians have to forgive. This has a great benefit for you the hapless victim: you can punch them in the face! Ok, well maybe not punch, because from a distance you can really get a run up and do a flying karate kick. A normal person would be angry, but if you apologize, they will forgive you. They have to! Then you can punch them again, and again, all the time with forgiveness guaranteed. Feeling tense or angry? Well, a happy Christian may even lighten your day after you get some of those frustrations out.

Commandment Seven: Repeat Ad Nauseum. An old game, yes. A good game, double yes. Turning bible talk into a fun game, absolutely! The rules are simple: just repeat everything they say. Exactly. Time yourself to see just how long they will endure their own words. Hey, if everyone else has to endure them, why shouldn’t they?

Commandment Eight: God Is Your Friend. Literally. If you were unable to read the signs and find yourself cornered by one of those smiles which are too wide for the mouth, all is not lost. Simply smile the same smile back and tell them all about the voices in your head. Tell them about your friend, God, and how he tells you many things. Have a conversation with him while your talking with them. “God says He’s angry” and look worried. “God, stop talking, stop! stop!” Trust me, by the third blood-curdling scream as you pound your fists on your temples, there will be no-one left talking to you. That is, unless of course the voices were there to begin with…

Commandment Nine: Cultivate a Following. Interestingly enough, someone who really wants to tell you something will often follow you if you fail to stop. The trick is to look interested enough to give them hope, but not slow down enough to stop. See how far you can take them. Up stairs, down stairs, across the street, across town. Given enough hope of saving your soul, the travel possibilities are endless!

Commandment Ten: Placing Distance. Should all of the above Commandments fail to protect you from the incessant rantings of a Godhead, DO NOT FEAR. For there is one final action which may be taken which is a sure-fire method for when all of the lying, acting or punching just won’t work. The trick is to put the greatest distance possible between you and the offending party in the shortest amount of time. They may shout “God bless you” or some other horribly joyous blessing as you peel off. However if the wind is right, or your running fast enough, you may be able to avoid even this. And that may be the greatest blessing of them all.

Not that we in the West have any idea about your culture. But we can only try to educate the other side in its misconceptions and be open to education from the other side. An open discussion without violence is the way to understanding. So here’s my education for you, the fuss-makers. We don’t have censorship. People in our countries are free to have differing opinions. So when you tell the Danes that they shouldn’t have allowed such pictures to be published, well they’re not going to change the whole freedom of the press thing because you don’t like it. As for the burning of the flag, I mean come on. The Danish flag stands for freedom. If you’re having a hard time with freedom then move to Saudi or Iran.

In what seems like a suspicious twist, a delegation of Muslim clerics from Denmark, who travelled to the Arab world to raise awareness about the cartoons, apparently added their own coarse samples which were neither clever nor tasteful. One depicted a dog having intercourse with a praying Mohammad and another had a person depicted as a pig next to a microphone with “Mohammad sings” or some stupid thing like that. They were roughly photocopied and not even cartoons. It is possible that these are the images which caused the outrage in the first place.

One can only hope that discerning Muslims seeing such pictures will be able to tell that they are inflammatory fakes.

But what does hope mean when there are plenty of people in the world that we know are mad enough to want to kill the cartoonist, the newspaper, the Danish, the Swedes (for good measure) and anyone remotely connected to the cartoons. Of course, by now there may well be a jihad on me but there are plenty worse things they can nail me for than that.

Debate around religious issues may be forbidden in the Muslim world, but many of us are not, nor wish to be living in the Muslim world. Those Muslims who are living in the West can thankfully buy another newspaper in future. They have that choice you see.

Luckily for me I’m neither superstitious, nor do I live in either Guatemala or Pakistan. However there are a great many who are superstitious. Namely, those millions of Pakistanis who are Islamic. What must they be thinking? 30,000 of the faithful were crushed to death beneath their homes of concrete and metal. It’s not the most pleasant way to go.

Their reaction was to pray, which is essentially saying “Wow God that was a neat trick, we are really really impressed and think you’re the greatest.” But what are they really thinking? Are they thinking that all those prayers should’ve counted for something? Even if they were given a break and it was time to go to heaven, was it really necessary to decapitate and maim them, suffocating and dying from dust inhalation? I know it’s not plausible, but a mass sleeping pill overdose would be a much nicer end for all those women and children.

No, it’s becoming clearer and clearer that if there is a God, he’s not on our side. In fact, it would be pretty easy to say that we are at war. In the past year, natural disasters have claimed over 140,000 lives in precisely the areas which attest to the greatest belief. It’s a non-denominational attack too, for the Christians in the Deep South got whacked by Katrina in the same vein as the Muslims in Aceh when the Tsunami hit.

It’s time to wake up, people of the world. Can’t you see, this God jerk is out to get us. He’s gone mad and he’s no longer playing Mr.Nice Guy in the Sky. No, he’s getting thirsty for blood. No more, kill-your-son mind games, no it’s a global scale, all-out battle. The more you pray the more he’s going to hit you. He’ll make the world a swamp before he’s done. He’ll make the Thou Shalt Not Kill commandment sound like Thou Shalt Drive A Car Full of Explosives into thine Mosque, and there’ll be someone crazy enough to do it.

The only hope we have is to fight and to use the only weapon we know for sure will work: our stupidity. We’ll burn all the sacred books. We’ll hold our Bibles in our left hands and our guns in our right and we’ll say that unless the Lord kindly stops all the shenannigans, we’ll blow a hole from Genesis to Revelation. And could he kindly make the Middle East less of a shithole while he’s at it? Maybe those terrorists wouldn’t be so angry then.

If we take a look at history, we can observe how, over centuries, ordinary people’s lives have been determined by great rulers. Information was spread or stopped according to its threat on power or its utility. Many great things have been passed to ordinary people from the minds of brilliant scientists, artists and philosophers. Some of these thinkers have been persecuted and killed for thoughts and ideas deemed threatening or subversive. Some achieved great fame and fortune.

But it’s the same story over and over. Power, threat to power, challenge wins, challenge loses. This side vs that side. Good vs Evil. Evil vs Good. Good was actually evil all along. Evil was mostly good, but a little evil.

In the 18th century, to earn a living from sideshows, travelling bands of what might today be called ‘carnival folk’ used to put children in pots of various sizes and let them grow. The child, growing quickly would grow into the shape of the pot. People could then pay money to witness such strange things. True or false?

Today, boys from Palestine and Israel and other places all around the world grow up in a similar way. They are taught that stealing is bad, that boys should respect their parents and that their way of life is right. They come to understand that what they do, they do for a reason and really, they are superior to those others who do different things and worship a different God.

Not just boys. Girls are also very good at learning. While the boys are running around outside fighting one another they are reading or talking, being told about many different stories and tales. Some of these stories have messages, some real, some not.

The strange thing is, all these children, if taught correctly, will grow up to firmly believe what they have been taught. The Jewish man has been brought up to believe that the Torrah is an accurate account of history. The Christian man has learned through many years of instruction that Jesus was sent from heaven and did lots of wonderful things. Even the man who was raised with liberal parents, can validly see the benefits of taxes and how they help to create an educated, successful nation. We feel satisfied that what we know has been given to us out of luck. We feel lucky to be born in our country or have the parents we had to teach us the Truth.

It comes down to survival more than anything. A child must learn what it’s parents tell it, it must preserve and carry on. If it does not learn, then it can’t benefit from the wisdom passed down. If you eat those berries, you will be ok, if you eat those you will die. Many things we learn help to give us a better life. But that doesn’t mean that everything we are taught is true. It may just be a Truth. By the same token, a parent naturally wants to pass it’s knowledge on to it’s child, in order to give it a good life (or afterlife). Not everything our parents believe are true though.

It is a wonderful thing, Truth. If it is real, it will have all the answers you need. If you are lucky, there will be people around you to remind you of the Truth, should you forget or falter. Says the man educated in Truth to his young son, “you know, in some parts of the world they have truTh. Ha, ha those poor fools, they really think it’s the Truth, but it’s not. If they really saw Truth, they would realize how great it is.”

Let’s have an example. Jimmy is from England. His parents taught him that Mishmash is the savior of all humanity. His most famous miracle was changing the skies from blue to purple, through green and back to blue. He thus made all the world realize that he was divine. He did more things too. He was personally related to God, hand selected to be his son. Somehow, someway, he managed to rise from the level of poor peasant to be the savior of the world. Of course, he didn’t write anything down, but some people knew of him and wrote stuff that they had heard down. Lucky for us, because that’s how we learnt of all his amazing powers.

Henry is also from England, in fact he lives next to Jimmy. Henry’s parents think that Jimmy’s parents are a bit strange. I mean, who ever heard of Mishmash and his stupid tricks in the sky? No, they brought up their son to understand that the real savior is Zook. Zook (praise God for his existence) delivered his message just recently and it was the final message, him being the last possible update. Admittedly God had misjudged the humans, but really truly Zook (p.g.f.h.e) was the last. He carried God’s message loud and clear and there was simly no rebutting it. Besides, if you didn’t believe him then you would definitely have an eternity of hell to realize just how stupid you were.

So who is right? Jimmy’s parents or Henry’s parents?

Well they’re both stupid aren’t they? Who ever heard of Zook and Mishmash? Everyone sensible knows that Christ is our savior and lord. Or was it Mohammed? Or John Smith, that mormon guy. Or was it that guy I saw on TV telling me about God…? It might have been Krishna if you were born in India, then again it could have been Buddha who showed us the way. Then again, I’m not sure what Jehovah’s Witnesses saw, but whatever it was it must have been pretty special. With all these different choices, how can we choose?

The answer? We don’t. It chooses us.

Think about it for a moment. If you were born in a different place, you would most likely be a completely different person with completely different beliefs. Do you think that you’d stil have the same beliefs? Are you confident you would still find the truth that you now hold dear?

Like it or not, we are all brainwashed. Look at how easily little kids believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny. They’re not rational, they’re not thinking straight. They don’t know that Santa’s movements are in violation of the Second Law of Thermodynamics and possibly a dozen other laws of nature. But here are the parents and pastors and preachers and school teachers filling their brains with more ‘true stories’. As hard as it was for the child to admit that there was no Santa, at least they still got presents at Christmas. But how is that child going to contemplate if he or she really believes in God? Hmm, on the one hand they have a nice friendly man in the sky looking out for them and loving them unconditionally. If they are good, they will go to heaven and have an eternity of pleasure. On the other hand, there is no man or anyone else in the sky, they have a short future of growth then decline and finally a vast eternity of nothingness. No wonder people don’t like to think about it.

Think I’m just saying this because I’m an atheist? Well it doesn’t just fall in the hands of religions to brainwash (although they do the most of it). What about Democracy? Try saying something against it. “You can’t not have Democracy, that would be like, evil.” But Democracy is just an idea, built around the Greek structure of small cities. Each city was a small unit, where all people can have a say and be involved. We have come to accept Democracy as the pinnacle of human society, when actually we just haven’t thought of a better idea. There are many problems with Democracy, especially the way it is stuck on everything like a social band-aid.

So I sit and I wonder. Sure, we have all this knowledge, these great discoveries, new theories, a more and more complete record of history. And yet, the leader of the most powerful country in the world still thinks that a man walking around on water is more likely than living things changing gradually over time. Religious people want to get into the schools and teach the children as early as possible their Truth. They were in my school, I’m sure they were in your school and I’m sure as hell they want more.

All we really have is theories. There are few solid facts in this world. It would be nice to think that all the answers were right there waiting to be discovered. In a way they are, because the amazing thing about the human mind is that it is capable of understanding many many wonderful and as yet unheard of things. We can use these wonderful instruments to perceive and understand the world around us. There are so many answers to questions we have had for so long, and they’re all waiting to be discovered.

But it is highly doubtful that all our answers are going to be found in one book. Especially not when many of these books are nothing more than carefully selected works, compiled and edited by conquerers, politicians and power mongers who manipulated other people’s beliefs for their own gain. The New Testament, for example, was put together four hundred years after Jesus died. Not only that, the scriptures were commisioned by a Roman emperor and carefully selected according to their utility.

This is common knowledge these days. The records are there to discover and while that Roman emperor and the Catholic Church afterwards did try to destroy all other records, some did surface and not surprisingly painted a very different picture. Did all Christians flock to read these scriptures and learn more about Christ? No way. Because some myths are too old to challenge. They become embedded in culture and custom and forbid us from thinking outside them.

Islam has a similar story. (taken from an amazon.com review)

“The story goes like this: From the first creation of the new faith beginning with the death of the Prophet, to the end of the 12th Century of our common era, Islam was dynamic, tolerant, innovative, and willing to learn from non-Muslims. The key to this dynamism and inventiveness was the practice of “ijtihad,” or “interpretation.” As the Islamic empire quickly swelled to include the Middle East, Persia, Anatolia, North Africa, and much of Spain, new problems of governance arose which were not addressed either in the Koran or in the “hadiths” (the stories about the life of the Prophet). So committees of learned men would consider the new problem at hand, the resources available in the Koran and hadiths, and would come up with an innovative solution which had some anaological connection with something or other in the founding texts. This solution would then be declared to be “Islamic.” That was how “Shari’ah” or Islamic law, came into being. Since none of this could have been gotten from the foundational documents alone, the procedure amounted to a practice of “progressive revelation.” So long as this practice was in effect, Islam persisted in its “golden age” during which it was the most advanced and creative civilization on earth.

But it all ended after the 12th Century. Why? A collective decision was made by the Islamic powers of that time, to “close the doors of interpretation.” Islam would no longer adapt to the world. The world would have to adapt to Islam. That was the beginning of the end of Islamic vatality, innovation, and worldly power. Islam became a fossilized civilization falling ever further behind its Western competitors, until by the middle of the 19th Century, France and England could colonise Muslim lands with hardly a shot being fired. Muslim lands remain today largely impotent and backward, and have to import most of their advanced products and skills from the West (or from Asian countries that have “Westernized”). ”

So why all this fuss about a universal truth? Who cares what people believe? You should care. Don’t fool yourself into believing that it doesn’t matter. Many of the things we take for granted today, our knowledge, or science, our advanced way of life, would not exist but for people who challenged what institutions said about the way the world was. Today, the Church isn’t allowed to kill you if you say bad things about it. Well, Salman Rushdie may disagree. However they will still fight every change, every scientific breakthrough, any evidence that the race of men are savoring the meal they have made from the tree of knowledge.

One day, and I hope that day comes soon, it will be plain to see humanity is in full control of the natural world around it. When we reach that day and we create a new world out of virtually nothing, well then we will realize that each one of us are Gods, if given the chance.