Had I known that while making me feel perkier in the morning, you were elevating my cortisol levels I might not have let you into my life.  But there you were, whispering sweet nothings in my ear, wafting your delicious smell up my nostrils and all the while stimulating my adrenal gland, causing all kinds of havoc.

What’s that you say?  You were just messing around?  It was harmless?  Ha!  Stop lying to me.  I’m so tired of your seductive lies.  I know what you were up to now.  The wool has been pulled from my eyes and I’ll have no part of  your shenanigans any more!  Cortisol isn’t just some harmless fun.  Blood pressure, fertility issues, memory.  Oh you have some nasty friends, Coffee.

I knew something was wrong when I saw Fat.  At first, I didn’t really know why it had shown up.  I didn’t invite it to the party and quite frankly I usually don’t allow those types in.  I run, I swim, I keep fit.  But everywhere I went, there was Fat, still hanging around like it knew me.  I knew for sure that I hadn’t invited it myself, so I started asking around.  Had someone else let it in while I wasn’t looking?  I did a little further digging and it all became clear to me.  While my good friend Coffee was keeping me happy and distracted, a whole host of undesirable characters were slipping in the back door.

If not for the fat, I may not have noticed.  But it’s always sitting there on my stomach like an ugly fat blob, staring at me and grunting “What?”  When the two of you get together that fat bastard seems even more content, swelling up and jiggling all over the place.  If it was just you and me, I might be able to stomach the other issues, such decalcifying my bones, thinning my skin and toxifying my brain.  But you just had to fatten me up.  And if there’s one thing to spoil a good substance party, it’s a fat bastard at the center of it who JUST WON’T LEAVE.

So goodbye Coffee.  I’ll admit, it was fun while it lasted.  But now that I know what you’ve been up to, well, it just leaves a bitter taste.

Refs:
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1608/is_9_19/ai_106652961/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cortisol#Factors_affecting_cortisol_levels
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2249754/?tool=pmcentrez
Image: http://theobservationsubway.blogspot.com/2008/08/at-coffee-shop.html

Compared to my adventures with bread, this recipe was a cinch to make.  All you have to do is ensure that those ingredients get placed in a bowl and beaten very fast so that they all take on the same colour and form.  Then stick it in an oven and let it cook.  Mine came out great, despite the fact that my oven has an unreliable temperature gauge.

Do yourself a favor.  Make this cake.

CAKE

2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 3/4 cups white sugar
1 cup vegetable oil (yummy!)
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (cos there’s something nice about vanilla)
2 cups shredded carrots (or just add as much as you feel comfortable with)
1 cup flaked coconut (I couldn’t find this, so I used a few drops of coconut milk.  made it a little soggy)
1 cup chopped walnuts (finger breaking allowed)
1 (8 ounce) can crushed, smashed, beaten or pummeled pineapple, drained

FROSTING

225g cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup butter, softened
2 cups icing sugar (can sustitute white sugar if in Korea and icing sugar isn’t easy to find)

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2. Grease and flour a big pan.  The bigger the pan, the flatter the cake, the better the icing-to-cake ratio.
3. Mix flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt and cinnamon; make a well in the center and add sugar, oil, eggs and vanilla.  I mix the sugar/oil/egg/vanilla
4. Mix with wooden spoon until smooth.
5. Stir in carrots, coconut, walnuts and pineapple.
6. Pour into 9×13 inch pan and bake for about 45 minutes.
7. Don’t panic, the centre will sink a little.
8. Allow to cool; when cool, ice the cake.
9. You can certainly use your favourite cream cheese frosting to ice this cake, but the one I’ve included is highly recommended (I usually leave the cake in the 13×9 pan and just ice the top).
10. To make the frosting: Cream the butter and cream cheese until smooth; add the icing sugar and beat until creamy.

Enjoy!

This carrot cake with cream cheese icing is something special