Confessions of a Dangerous Blogger:

On Tuesday, a letter was made available to the press by the United Nations. Written by the President of Iran and addressed to George W, it was a significant gesture as there has not been any contact between the two nation’s presidents since 1979.

In the letter, the Iranian leader not so much attacks Western Liberalism and Bush’s policies (not that those are in any way the same thing), but rather sounds like he is giving Bush a lecture. “Those with insight can already hear the sounds of the shattering and fall of the ideology and thoughts of the liberal democratic systems,” writes the President. He seems to take an almost rhetorical style and one may surmise that he wrote it for a wider audience than just Bush. Mind you, he may have just dumbed down the language so that they guy might understand it.

He went on to say: “We increasingly see that people around the world are flocking towards a main focal point that is the Almighty God,” he wrote. “Undoubtedly through faith in God and the teaching of the prophets, the people will conquer their problems. My question to you is: ‘Do you want to join them?’ ”

I find it interesting that in the midst of turmoil and wars based upon ideology and creed, that he might think that more ideology is the solution. Especially when it is his religion that is so strongly divided. If one Allah worshipper wants to kill the other Allah worshipper over the same Quran, then maybe it’s time to step back and consider what religion is really doing to the world. I don’t believe it’s sacred, I don’t believe that it is above criticism, I believe that all religions have a duty to protect their own views in the face of reality. Religions don’t encourage development, but rather stagnation. Whether they have good intentions or not, religions with their imams, preists and clerics want to strap us to a moment in time and impede any development of mind or soul.

The Catholic Church is all smiles and laughs now, but let’s not forget that were it not for the deaths of so many who fought for more freedom, we would still be in the midst of medieval suffrage. “But what about the inquisitions, the tortures, the killings in the name of God?” you may ask your local priest. “Oh that. They were dark times, but now everything is ok. Those bad guys have been removed, are deceaced and we’re all nice. Especially now that we have removed all the paedophiles.” But all you have to do is give the Church a little voice, a little power and see how they use it. Stamp on stem cell research (potentially saving and repairing a multitude of lives), stamp on euthenasia (allowing someone to choose to end their own life), stamp on contraception (preventing unwanted pregnancies), stamp on criticism (and Da Vinci Code is just a novel!). Most religions desire to keep mankind in the exact same place and tell everyone what is good and what is bad. Like I said, it might be well-intentioned, but those same intentions inevitably lead to conflict and unfortunately, war.

But back to the letter. I think this letter presents a unique opportunity for Bush and his speechwriters to respond. It’s a real chance to finally throw open a debate about what the West is trying to achieve and our view of them. There is hardly any dialog between the Middle East and the West which is intelligent and which doesn’t involve guns. The lines are open now, and it’s important to use them.

It would be better that Bush write it down too, that way he can put it through a spell checker before sending. Also you can’t see the smirk in a letter. Here’s what I might write, were I him.

“Dear President Ahmadinejad,

Thanks so much for your thought-provoking letter. It was a total shock receiving it, I can tell you. At the time I got it I was doing some work on the ranch to take my mind off the Iraq thing and Laura came running down from the house crying “George, you’ll never guess who wrote to you.” Of course, it took us a while to translate it, being written as it were in those squiggly lines that you call letters, but it was well worth the wait, I can tell you.

I really enjoyed your openness and thought-provoking suggestions about our way of life. It’s touching that you would make that offer and I want to let you know that should I convert to Islam, you’ll be the first to know. Sometimes I really do think about it. Of course, I love my wife very much, and this is just between the two of us, but I get the occasional urge to stone her. The only problem is that by the time I’ve found a suitable rock, the urge has usually passed. I guess it’s that and the guilt. Oh and the Secret Service. If only I had the right brainwashing to easily justify it. I could brainwash them too and do whatever I wanted to. But like my father said, “George, nothing in life comes from wishing. To get what you want you have to pay people off.”

The fact is, you’re right about the mono-theo thingy. If I could have my way, everyone would be a believer like me and I wouldn’t have to worry about these silly arguments about stem cells and the like. But with so many people questioning religion it’s not like the old days any more. Back then, the Church said shut up, you shut up, no question. These days we have so many religions that there are new ones with names that I don’t even know how to say. Much like your name Mua…Muahaja….sorry the spell checker didn’t work on that one, but I think you know what I mean.

In some ways I envy you guys for keeping such a tight ship. It takes time to win it back. I think I’m making headways, but it’s an uphill battle. We have a saying in Texas that if you push a rock up a hill and you let go it rolls down. But it doesn’t gather moss. Some animals eat moss so moss can be a good thing. But the animal can possibly help you to pull the rock up. Essentially what I’m saying is it’s tough.

One of the things I like about your religion too, believe it or not is the clothes for the women. The amount of times I’ve cracked a woody on the podium when giving a Presidential address, I can’t even begin to tell you. But when you’ve been in the White House all day around Laura and those crusty old office ladies, then you see a cute reporter in a short skirt, well that little fella has a mind of his own! Luckily people are so concerned with trying to understand what I’m saying that they don’t notice.

Well, I really do have to go now. The dogs need walking and Laura is cooking roast pork tonight. If you ever decide to come to visit us Great Devils in the West, know that there will be a nice pork chop waiting for you. I guarantee you’ll love the dogs too.

Warmest regards,

George W. Bush “

I should be a speechwriter for the guy. Anyway kiddies, have to go. Remember, it’s not about saying no to religion, but saying yes to thinking first. Rant over.

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