Archive for October, 2005

The Goodness of Nature


2005
10.10

These past few days have seen some of the craziest weather that nature can provide. From torrential rain and mudslides in Guatemala to massive earthquakes in Pakistan and South Asia, it would really appear that nature was on the attack. I know it’s just the way it goes, that the world suffers and has suffered from many attacks such as this, constantly. But if I were a superstitious man, I’d say that something big is happening.

Luckily for me I’m neither superstitious, nor do I live in either Guatemala or Pakistan. However there are a great many who are superstitious. Namely, those millions of Pakistanis who are Islamic. What must they be thinking? 30,000 of the faithful were crushed to death beneath their homes of concrete and metal. It’s not the most pleasant way to go.

Their reaction was to pray, which is essentially saying “Wow God that was a neat trick, we are really really impressed and think you’re the greatest.” But what are they really thinking? Are they thinking that all those prayers should’ve counted for something? Even if they were given a break and it was time to go to heaven, was it really necessary to decapitate and maim them, suffocating and dying from dust inhalation? I know it’s not plausible, but a mass sleeping pill overdose would be a much nicer end for all those women and children.

No, it’s becoming clearer and clearer that if there is a God, he’s not on our side. In fact, it would be pretty easy to say that we are at war. In the past year, natural disasters have claimed over 140,000 lives in precisely the areas which attest to the greatest belief. It’s a non-denominational attack too, for the Christians in the Deep South got whacked by Katrina in the same vein as the Muslims in Aceh when the Tsunami hit.

It’s time to wake up, people of the world. Can’t you see, this God jerk is out to get us. He’s gone mad and he’s no longer playing Mr.Nice Guy in the Sky. No, he’s getting thirsty for blood. No more, kill-your-son mind games, no it’s a global scale, all-out battle. The more you pray the more he’s going to hit you. He’ll make the world a swamp before he’s done. He’ll make the Thou Shalt Not Kill commandment sound like Thou Shalt Drive A Car Full of Explosives into thine Mosque, and there’ll be someone crazy enough to do it.

The only hope we have is to fight and to use the only weapon we know for sure will work: our stupidity. We’ll burn all the sacred books. We’ll hold our Bibles in our left hands and our guns in our right and we’ll say that unless the Lord kindly stops all the shenannigans, we’ll blow a hole from Genesis to Revelation. And could he kindly make the Middle East less of a shithole while he’s at it? Maybe those terrorists wouldn’t be so angry then.

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Immigration Blues (again)


2005
10.07

Just as I thought I was on a good thing, I get the news on Friday that my work visa has been denied and I can’t continue my job at the middle school. This is due to the problems I had a few months back where I was thrown in jail for working a summer camp. It seems now that I won’t be able to work (legally) in Korea for another year. I want to feel better about this than I do, but I can’t help being dismayed. And I really want to swear and go on a bloody rampage, taking aim at immigration official after immigration official. But instead I’m going to swallow the bitter taste that I have left in my mouth and consider my options.

It’s becoming an old story here, so much so that it really isn’t the great place it used to be for teachers. Company screws teacher, teacher gets the blame and is thrown out of the country. Teacher gets accused of bleeding Korea dry of money, female teacher gets accused of being a prostitute, etc, etc. It’s completely futile even trying to talk to these retards. Everyone is a criminal to them.

We come here to teach, end up saving little and helping their country further their English skills so that they might one day travel and work abroad. Some of us are even good teachers. And when I sat down a month or two ago in front of some stupid investigator he said to me, “you come to Korea to make money yeah?” No, I came to hang out with a bunch of kids for the fun of it. “I’m a Computer Science graduate of which a graduate salary is typically 30-40,000. Why would I leave my family and friends to come to your little country and make 24,000 with no further career prospects?” I just wanted to punch him in the head, and then all the other guys there one by one. But thankfully I’m cool headed enough to know this would probably not work out for the best.

So despite making a visit on Friday to the immigration office, dressed in my best suit and looking suitably humble, I was rejected and told I couldn’t work legally until August 2006. The particular drone behind the counter kept speaking to my manager and rarely looked at or addressed me, despite the fact that he could speak English. He clutched a book at his side, which I guessed was his rule book. It settled in my mind one thing: every time I try to do things by the rules here, I get screwed. Last time, at my summer camp, I applied for a visa, got it and then due to the company changing the location of my workplace, left me open to get busted for a violation of visa I didn’t even know I could get busted for. Then, despite my loyalty to not discuss previous employment, the employer opened up the records of the last camp I had worked for them. Double screwed. If I hadn’t obtained a visa, I could’ve run and avoided being reeled in by the department. Avoided going to jail. Avoided a whole lot of headache.

So what will I do? I’ll join the multitute of other foreigners here who routinely make a stack more money working privates. These privates, incidentally are virtually untraceable to officials at immigration. So there.

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The News to Here


2005
10.03

My life has been pretty busy lately. However, I have finally reached a stage where I am happy with what I’ve got. For a start, there’s my apartment. Located in the nice upmarket part of Seoul, fully furnished and close to my work, it makes my life feel complete. Then there’s the jobs that I have, supplying me with money and meals. Finally there’s my friends, old ones who I see regularly, new ones whom I meet every time I go out, and friends I forgot I had, who pop up at the most unexpected of times. Just last week I ran into two friends I hadn’t seen for at least 12 months. It was totally unexpected and great to see them alive.

Now, it has been quite some time since my last good solid posting and I thought it was high time that I filled you all in on what’s been happening chronologically. Now that I’m established, let’s establish a firm record of history. Let’s run through the past few months of my life.

Let me take you back to Thailand for a moment. I had just finished my tropical relaxation experience and was heading back through Phuket airport to go to Bangkok. I took a look out the window as I was boarding the plane and noticed the blue waters just beyond the airport. Taking my last glimpse of the pristine blue yonder, I boarded the plane. Getting back to Bangkok, I decided that what I really needed to cheer me up was some nightlife. I headed out to Khao Sanh Road where a multitude of people and lights were lining the street, selling or being sold to, everywhere noise and fun. I went to a favorite bar of mine, Gullivers, and spend the night dancing with a couple of nice ladies who gave me the scoop on bargains to be had in Thailand’s capital. I picked up as many things as I could feasibly take home with me as a result.

But finally, after much partying and sightseeing, it was time to return to Korea and I sat in the Thai airport and took one last picture. I was smiling because I had just bought a bottle of Tequila. Later, upon arrival in Korea I stopped to get some money from an ATM. A girl promptly ran into my cart and sent my bottle flying. All I could do was open the book it had wet and smell it’s sweet smell. Oh…

Upon my return, I wasted no time catching up on all the sights around Seoul. I took my friend out to Yeouido park and we sat and watched the beautiful summer sky set and I stuffed my face with ice-cream like the true child I am. The air was a little cooler at night and it was so peaceful and pleasant. We were joined by a thousand families who had their rugs and picnic baskets out. They looked like they were going to set up camp and sleep there. And what a beautiful spot. The sky faded into beautiful colors and then into night. I wanted to grab a camp spot too.

Then I bought a motorbike and one of the first things I did was to get my camera and go riding about the place searching for good shots of places I hadn’t been. It turned out that there was a beautiful sunset that particular night. I struggled to capture it’s beauty on film, but despite my best efforts, only captured an inferior replica. Trust me, it was so much more beautiful in real life.

I started working at a school a little bit after that and to celebrate we went out for dinner and some singing. The director of the school brought his daughter and wife and we all listened as he belted out the tunes, clapping at the appropriate times. Actually he was pretty good. We then took turns belting out our own renditions. I kept my song choices family-oriented for a change and it was a nice night. My friend Grace was there and it is she who I owe almost all of my vocational success to. Since meeting her, she has lined up job after job for me. She should seriously be getting commission.

One of the things I missed the most about being back in Australia is the regular nights of drinking and merriment that I used to have with the gang. Now when I say “the gang” I actually mean Keith, but usually there are other people involved too. Keith and other friends and myself generally go from place to place having great time after great time until it’s morning and time to hit a singing room. It may not seem like a blast to you, but if you came here and experienced the thrill of seeing Keith lose yet another speed drinking battle, savoring the delights of an Egg and Cheese sandwich from the famous Egg and Cheese Sally, and hearing us rip out our theme song of “Don’t Look Back In Anger” you’ll want to leave whatever it is that you normally do and take part on a regular basis. It’s that much fun. On this one particular night, we were hanging out with Keith’s current co-workers and our old co-worker Lee and her friend So Young. Lee is a blast to have around. It had been ages since we had all hung out together, so it was cool to finally do it again. We ended up at the top of the Itaewon Hooker Hill at a bar called Polly’s Kettle. That is until Keith said the famous parting line, “ramblers, let’s get rambling.”

I took my camera one day as I was walking through Bundang, the satelite city where I work sometimes. It was a typical Autumn day, cloudy with big raindrops falling menacingly at intervals from random points above. The stream running through the center of the city was brimming from a recent downpour. The smell of grass was in the air. Bundang is a really nice place, with streams and rivers running all through it, lots of parks and places to relax. The city is clean, without the shallow sewers that is a trademark of Seoul. It’s a great spot only 30 minutes from Seoul.

The weekend before last, I helped Keith’s girlfriend out with the student short film she was making about foreigners in Korea. Production was a little long, maybe due to a lot of factors. It did test our patience when it took 5 hours to film 5 minutes of footage. The waiting took it’s toll. However, it was a good chance to freshen up those few acting skills I do have for the prospect of seeing myself on the big (or little) screen. I expect to see this soon. Unfortunately I had to employ a British accent for which I am certainly unqualified to speak. The final result, I am expecting, will make myself and any other British person in the vicinity cringe. But my movie career has begun and I’m not letting a crappy accent come between me and superstardom.

Just today, I decided that it would be a great idea to take a few shots of my new public school. It was a beautiful day today and I took my motorbike to work. I took some shots while all the kids were in class. Compared to back home, the school here looks quite bare, with no grass in sight. But the kids here seem to enjoy it. I calculated that in total I teach over 600 kids. That’s a lot of names to forget.

And then it was back to my new room. Ah, the spacious, roominess of it. The bed the door, the lock on the door. Wow, I haven’t had this for two months or more. It’s so nice, the simple pleasures in life. And we all know that from simple pleasures come more simple pleasures… such as sleep. Which is exactly where I’m going now. It’s 1:30am and I have to get up in 5 hours. Another day in Korea.

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