I must thank my brother Lyndon for the excellent banner he made me. I thought my site needed a fresh look and he certainly supplied it. I have been wanting to change that plain old blue banner for a long time. I have another one I’m working on too, so maybe in a week or so I’ll unveil it.

The thing which shocked me the most today was not Gothika, although I just watched it tonight and it was pretty freaky. No, the most shocking thing today happened this afternoon as I was just relaxing, listening to some music and peering out my window. It was a John Lennon song, ‘Beautiful Boy’, and one of the lyrics hit me. I know, it’s probably a saying which has been around for a long time, but the way he sang it. He was talking about his son and growing up and then he said it. He said, “life is just what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.”

Life is just slipping away. We grow up with the idea that we just have to finish all the school work, get a job and then we start with real life. That’s the time when we start changing the world, living differently from our parents, becoming rich and successful. To me, it’s shocking that this could be my life. What if this was it? Will time blur everything into a romantic adventure story? And is that why old people do it? Is it just a way of coping with the fact that we all lead quite ordinary lives. Our only means of escaping it is to enrich the tapestry of the past into a wondrous quilt of tales, when actually it was all quite uneventful.

I really hope this is not so. I remember at times in my past thinking that I was waiting for some event to happen, something to make the moment come alive like a story. And I remember seeing events take place, thinking at the time that they were just ordinary events taking place, squeezed for any drop of excitement. Then I remember hearing someone else describe them as though they were some grand story. They weren’t, but I can see how descriptions and reality are the same thing.

There is no reality when a person is involved. There is only his or her reality. How a person sees an event. I believe that humans are largely rational and see the world in mostly the same way. Except for their brains which, upon seeing, change their own belief of what they’ve seen. This is due to pre-existing belief, desire to impress, resentment, or shame. People don’t describe events, they only describe the experience they had as they witnessed that event take place.

But back to my original point, life has been happening to me for the past 25 years and I only remember that it is happening on these odd occasions. Most of the time, I’m busy trying to do this or that, I forget. It doesn’t matter that I forget because I hate to be so self-conscious of the whole thing. There used to be times in the past where my head went into a spin because I was always so self-aware of everything. You know when you are trying to do something and all you can think about is your body doing it? It’s the worst. Life should be lived in a relatively unaware state for the best effect. I call it the ‘control room’ state. You’re not directly pulling all the levers, but you have some guidance into the overall outcome. So I like to keep this self-assessment to a minimum. But life is going so fast and it really seems to be getting faster as the years go on.

As a kid, I just wanted things to hurry the hell up. Stuck in the 5th grade, no rights, sitting next to some sweaty kid all day in a classroom, being asked the most obvious questions. Now, I really wouldn’t mind everything being put on pause while I can get my bearings, just so it fully sinks in: I am what is generally referred to as an adult.

Oh shit.

It’s so weird because my head still thinks like it did when I was back in 5th grade. Sure, I got some more experiences and read some more books, but it’s still me in here and I still feel like a kid. Somewhere deep down, beneath all the adult thoughts which say such things are immature, I STILL THINK CLIMBING TREES IS FUN! There, I said it. Am I still just a kid in here?

No, actually it is the other way around. Let me explain. Have you ever seen an old person use a computer for the first time? They just click the mouse at anything and hope that it works. Well that’s just like how a baby approaches life. They just pick stuff up and put it in their mouths. Edible? No. Move on. We are all born adults who have these new machines to use called our bodies, the world around us, people we meet, books, cars, everything. We’re so damn busy trying to figure everything out and how to use them that we lose track of the big picture. Adulthood is just the term used for a basic proficiency in the things around us. And what are we so busy preparing for? I have a theory.

Love. It all comes back to love. Only when you’re in love does the world make sense. Because when you’re in it, you suddenly see how all the proficiencies fit together. We learned to walk so that we could enjoy walks through the park with our loved one. We tried hard to feed ourselves so we wouldn’t look stupid when we took or loved one to a fancy restaurant. It’s the best feeling that humans could devise, the feeling that gives meaning to everything. It’s the ultimate human emotion.

But what is love? Well, to paraphrase the original quote, quite simply, “Love is just what happens to you when you’re busy getting into her pants.”

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The weather has been great these past few days. Today was a little hot, but manageable. So far, the temperature has been in the mid to high 20’s. Over the past few days I have been showing a friend from Korea around Australia. She came over for a few days and has stopped in Melbourne. I have been giving her the full tour and it has been fun because I have missed some of the sights too. Yesterday we took a trip to Wilson’s Promontory and Phillip Island. Gwen got to see and touch some Kangaroos and it made her holiday.

I can’t really understate just how beautiful the countryside is. To look at some parts, after living in a city for so long really takes the breath away. Besides the country, also the city of Melbourne is beautiful at night, with the warm summer air just cooling enough to make a stroll beside the river a wonderful tonic for a year of polluted air. If I inhale a deep breath I can smell the flower blossom or the freshly cut grass… instead of the smell of garbage or raw sewerage. Observe some of the beauty that my country has to offer:

So here I sit, just chilling out. For some annoying reason I’m having trouble with my internet again, so I can’t get this out as I’m writing it. Oh, if only I had broadband. It’s not that Australia doesn’t have the technology because it does. It’s just that I’m not prepared for all the installation costs involved for my short stay. And that leads me to my beef of the day.

During my stay I have had to visit some doctors due to this sinus problem and also visit some tourist attractions to show Gwen, my guest. I realised that just about everyone here is trying to extract money from me as fast as possible. My first beef is with the health system in my country. I have three main beefs about this.

Firstly, to see a doctor, any doctor, for just a few minutes costs $50 up front. It used to be that one produced a Medicare card and swipe swipe, no problem. Now, I have to pay, then get a “refund” at the Medicare office. Only thing is, the refund was only $30. So I effectively paid $20 to see my doctor. This would be perfectly acceptable and I think this is a reasonable price to pay, but for fact that I am still using the Medicare system. Supposedly, in Australia we have a public healthcare system, but now we must pay for it too. I don’t understand. In Seoul, I saw a doctor for $30, no healthcare. He was expensive. In Daejeon I saw one for $5 (it was a quick visit). My point is, first how can a 15 minute visit cost $50? I know doctors are important pillars of the community, but $200/hour??? Another visit to have some scans on my head cost $180 for about 10 minutes of shots. Thankfully, there was nothing upfront or delayed, it was all covered by Medicare. However, the bill is somewhat exorbitant considering the length of the visit.

Second, why do they make it necessary for everything to be done first by a GP (forcing you to see one every time, even if you KNOW that you need a different doctor or a specific recurring medication). For example, a girl who takes a birth control pill is forced to return to see her GP every time she needs another box. Perhaps she’ll get one repeat for the prescription, but that’s it. This does nothing to encourage birth control among younger people or the lower income levels. God knows some of them need some control. Another example is specialists. When you have chronic sinusitis and your nose is blocked and you’ve received a diagnosis from two different doctors, maybe it’s time to see an Ear Nose and Throat doctor. What did the friendly doctor I saw at the clinic say to me? “Wait a minute cowboy, you need to see another doctor because I’m not your regular doctor and he needs to give you the referral to see the specialist.”

And finally, just to make it clear: I have no problem paying for my visit. I can see how this system works better to discourage casual swiping of Medicare cards. Some people are hyperchondriacs, and visit the doctor for every little thing. No, my real complaint is aimed at the system itself. Supposedly when you ask a politicial or sympathizer to the current big government system we live under, why are taxes so high in Australia? the usual response is that we must pay for big budget items like roads, schools and medical cover. Now, we are paying for some aspects of Medical coverage for ourselves. Is there some likelihood of taxes decreasing? I doubt it. Consider this. I’ll use Korea as an example only because I’ve been there for a year and it’s the only other society I’m the most acquanted with. In Korea, taxes are 3%. My monthly salary while a teacher was 2,000,000 Won or around $2,000. Of that $2,000, about $60 was taken out as tax. Now, in Australia we have a tax rate of around 33% which give or take a little due to thresholds would remove about $500 from my pay each month. In Korea I had roads, public transport and other infrastructure. I didn’t have or need schools, nor did I have any health cover. Yet I survived ok. Yes, I visited the doctor occasionally, but did it total $440 per month? No way.

Not only that, things cost more in Australia through hidden taxes. I’m not a smoker but in Australia, cigarettes cost $10 compared to $2.50 in Korea. Why this is interesting is because supposedly this high tax on cigarettes is supposed to be compensating for the extra loading on the health system that smokers take. Yet we still pay more for our healthcare. There are high taxes on alcohol too, on cars, on all luxury items. Daily items cost more, a soda can cost twice as much here for only a few more mls. Almost everything you buy will cost more, notable exceptions are rice, bread, milk and meat, which are understandably high due to the small size of Korea and lack of farming space. Then there are the tourist places…

I’d say don’t even get me started on them, but you aren’t here to tell me that. For the pleasure of seeing some penguins walk up a beach and go into their nests, they charge $16. That’s for one person. What do they provide? Some concrete to sit on and some rangers to tell you what not to do. It may be suggested that the fee enables the rangers to protect the little animals and provide a safe environment to observe them in. My simple calculations put the nightly figure at $3200 at least. What were they feeding them? Pickled caviar from the depths of the Atlantic Ocean? Did the little penguins slip into their diamond studded robes and sleep on the finest silk from China? No, they walked their little butts into their dirt caves and slept. End of story. Supposedly from all the taxes collected there is a budget for Conservation. Supposedly there is a lot of money made from the overpriced gift shop and cafe. So where are all these dollars going? And that is just the Penguins.

Rant over. But on the lighter side, there really is some beautiful scenery to be had at no cost at all. Just driving over the countryside and seeing the rolling hills of green grass is amazing. It’s great to live in such a clean and beautiful country. I just wish the people running it would go away.

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Well here I am in my new room. It’s been a week in Australia and surprisingly it feels like normal. As soon as I got here, it was like I never left. I guess it’s only a year and not ten. Things have changed, people have stayed the same and it’s all good. The internet is really slow and I have been busy fighting viruses (or virii) since I arrived. I only just managed to make my computer run properly again. With all the ad software, spyware and viruses it was running like a snail. Now, it’s back to its former glory.

I met Ziggy today. For those who don’t know, Ziggy is a cat that J and I bought together. I am his legal guardian I think. Anyway, father figure. He doesn’t remember me. Or maybe he’s just acting that way because I abandoned him for a year. Or maybe it’s because I said he needed to go on a diet. It’s probably his teenage years in the cat life-cycle so he’s probably going through feelings of inadequacy and such. Maybe it was insensitive. Maybe it wasn’t the best way to greet my son. But he’s a cat and he’s a fat cat. He needs to shed some pounds or I’ll take him to the pound. There, I said it.

I’ll show you some pictures of my room. Any moment there are some guys coming to put some new carpet in. I am typing this looking over my shoulder because as soon as they come I have to turn this computer off and move it. Before they do, I’ll upload some pictures of my room with its new renovations.

So it’s ok being back. Of course, there are so many things I miss from Korea but I guess they can wait for me back there. I’ll be back in a month or so. Everyone who has been leaving me messages and wishing me well, thankyou! Sorry I haven’t been able to reply… by dirty computer has been sleeping around and catching diseases, but she’s ready to perform for me again. So I’ll hit you all back soon…

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I’m sitting here in the airport listening to BK Love. After one year, one month and one week of my life in Korea it’s coming to an end. It’s hard to describe my feelings right now. It’s part excitement to go home, part sadness to say goodbye. I have exactly 1 hour before my flight and I figured that a blog update would be a highly appropriate way to spend the time. I actually got here early. I was so worried about getting my act together that I just packed and left as soon as I could. On the one hand I can’t wait to see everyone at home again. I will be able to relax for perhaps the first time since being here. And on the other hand I’m going to be missing everything here. My feelings are so mixed it’s like they’ve been in a blender.

There are so many people I have been longing to see for so long. I try to forget about it most of the time, just put it away in the back of my mind, but now that I’m ready to go back I feel like I’m about to cry. It’s going to be so great to be home. But I’m going to miss so much here. Damn it, I shouldn’t cry at the airport. It’s so cliche.

The last few days I’ve been catching up with friends and trying to fit a year into a suitcase. This latter part is frankly not a fun task. Selecting which bits to keep and which to throw away has been tough. I’d love to have another suitcase full of my other junk but sadly it must stay behind for me to collect later. It’s funny how things just accumulate. I’m not really the type of person to like to collect things. I’m pretty good at throwing away useless possessions. So how did I get two full boxes of stuff? And what is in those boxes that I need. I can survive without them, no doubt. I just can’t remember what’s in them that’s so special. Maybe nothing. I always liked the idea of being free, just a bag and a ticket and me, travelling anywhere. But you have to factor in a few different jeans for variety, shirts, shoes (2 of each) and a sweater or two for if it’s cold. What about socks, jocks and ties (in case of a business emergency)? What about a book for company? Before you know it, you get stuck trying to throw away clothes which are not necessary, having to choose between good packing and good fashion. It’s no easy choice, but thankfully I never really had good fashion to begin with so it’s no great loss to have a few less clothes.

Anyhow, I just want to say that for those I didn’t get to see before I left, I’m sorry. I hope to catch up again when I return… one day in the near future. And for those I have left for so long… well I can’t wait to see you. I have a lot of stories to tell…

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Counting down the days is fun. Counting down the days means trying not to thing about counting. Xbox helps with this. Sleeping late and not seeing daylight is another trick. I have perfected this since university. But really enough is enough. Since being back in town, I have taken the opportunity to start updating this site. There have been many pictures taken since December which haven’t appeared here until now. It’s looking pretty good now. I’ve added some new features, such as a message function whereby you can send a private message to me. Also there is a complete drop menu filled with songs which have appeared on the site. It’s all happening.

Some people ask me how I know how to do all this stuff. Actually I don’t. I have to browse the web and look at how other sites install certain features. That’s the great thing about the web, all the answers are right there. Just go to Edit->View Source and all this mind boggling code is right there. You can do it too!

I must say hi to my students who have signed my guestbook. Thank you! I can tell you right now that I’d be happy to teach you guys for the next few years. I thought I was on a good thing with the camp, great pay, facilities, etc, but then I found out that some teachers there are actually getting paid double because they were on paid vacation from their high schools and universities. So that’s it, next time I’m doing that too. But still, it was so fun I wouldn’t mind not even getting paid. Alex, if you’re reading this I’M ONLY JOKING! I STILL WANT MY PAY!!!

It’s much colder in Seoul for some reason. There is a definite chill factor which Daejeon didn’t have. I’m guessing that it’s due to that light breeze which seems to be following me everywhere. It really adds to the cold. I heard all that talk about layering but I’m still freezing my butt off here. Staying inside is the only cure.

Gotta run now to the camp final party reunion free food dinner thing. I didn’t eat all day so I guess I’m going to take three bites and be full. So take a look around the site, check out the new photos from Thailand and Korea and send me a message and tell me what you think.

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